


Crocodile Rock

by ambercreek95



Category: South Park
Genre: 50's Diner Vibes, Canon Gay Character, Falling In Love, M/M, My childhood dream was to work at a roller diner, Roller Diner, Slow Burn, This whole fic is basically self serving to that, diner au, femboy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:47:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27262975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambercreek95/pseuds/ambercreek95
Summary: Tweek's done with working at Tweek Bros under his dad's thumb. That's why he applied for a job at the roller diner, Betty's Boys, on the outskirts of town. There he meets Craig Tucker; tall, stoic and with terrible customer service.And for some god damned reason, Tweek wants to be his friend...
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 60
Kudos: 69
Collections: sp creek server does creek week 2020





	1. Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> The biggest, hugest, most grateful thank you to jewboykahl.  
> I would not have survived this week if it wasn't for you. you are the most amazing ever <3
> 
> This will be a small multichapter fic, because there was too much I wanted to include but not enough time! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)

Tweek sits in the driver side of his beat-up old corolla, nervous beyond all belief. The thermos of coffee he has in his hands keeps spilling over the edge and burning him with how much he’s shaking. He’s only ever worked at his parents' coffee shop, so this will be the first time he works at a place that's not run by the same people who changed his diapers and put coffee in his sippy cup. There will be a whole set of people that Tweek will have to get to know, and work alongside and pray that they don’t find him annoying and choose to make his life hell, or ignore him all together.

He watches the flashing dashboard light click ever closer to 9am. It’s 8:46am. He knows that he should be going in soon. Afterall, Tweek always believed that if you’re only 5 minutes early on your first day, then you’re late. Not that he’s had a first day since he was 6 years old. That was 12 years ago. More than half his life... 

Oh Jesus, now he’s freaking out again. 8:49am. No more stalling.

Tweek drags his shaking ass out of the hatchback, pushing down his unruly hair into something that is more ‘bad-case-of-bed-head’ and less ‘fork-in-a-power-socket’ before shuffling towards the door. No matter how much he tries to gel, style, and beat his hair into submission, his wild curls always win out in the end, going in whichever direction they choose.

The bell above the door dings loudly, making Tweek jump. A petite boy with blonde hair cut into a bob with a fringe glides up to Tweek gracefully. His name badge reads ‘Phillip’. “‘Ello chap, are you looking for a table?” he asks, british accent sounding mighty out of place in this small, Colorado town.

“U-uh, no actually,” Tweek says, stammering a little, “I’m actually looking for Betty Chalmers? the manager? It’s my first day.”

A wide grin splits the english boys' face. “OH! You must be Tweek!”

The shock that Phillip already knows his name must be evident across Tweek’s face. “Oh, Betty has already set up a locker for you in the staff room with your name on it. I just put two and two together. Don’t stress, I'm not some stalker or something.” Phillip giggles at his joke. Little did he know that the scenario was exactly what Tweek had been worried about.

“Tweek Darlin’! I’m so glad you’re here.” Betty, who was the same person who interviewed him a week ago, appears through the ‘STAFF ONLY’ door. “Come with me, let me show you to your locker.”

Betty Chalmers is the kind of lady that could be described as a dumpling. She’s short and round, has purple hair styled by rollers piled high on her head, and a deep southern belle accent. She radiates warmth and maternal care. She was the main reason that Tweek accepted this job; because he wanted to work for someone who was the human embodiment of sunshine, and not some psychopath who bursts into his room with a gun and threatens to sell him into slavery.

“Hi, Mrs Chalmers, thanks again for h-hiring me.”

“Honey, Mrs Chalmers was my mother, may god bless her soul. Please call me Betty.”

“O-okay, Betty,” says Tweek, still not sounding quite convinced. 

“Much better!” a warm smile spreads across her round face. She turns to face Phillip. “Pip, sweetie, can you go stock up the napkin holders?”

“Yes ma’am.” Pip says with a flourish, before turning on his toes and gliding off.

“Now Tweek darlin’, I’ve got your locker all set up back here.” She leads him through the door with the STAFF ONLY sign. “And your uniform is all ready for you. I hope I got your sizes right. Your combination is 64, 32, 18 but I'll write it down for you. You're the only one who has this locker so feel free to leave whatever you want in here, as long as it’s not illegal,” she twists the dial on the locker, door popping open a moment later. She pulls out a neatly folded pile of clothes in black, white and baby pink. She also pulls out a pair of white leather roller skates. She passes the pile over to him. “Here you go sweetie, go put these on, changing rooms just behind you.”

Tweek lightly grabs the pile, heading into the small storage-closet-turned-dressing-room. He slowly peels off his regular clothes, depositing them into a pile at his feet. He looks at the clothes given to him waril, unsure where to start. The first item he grabs is the baby pink 50’s style, button up bowling shirt, with a white scalloped collar and ‘Betty’s Boys Diner’ embroidered on the left breast. He shrugs the shirt on, fastening each button, taking extra care not to miss any. He pulls on some nude pantihose, before picking up the black iem, which turns out to be skin tight, lycra pants with a shiny black belt threaded through the loops at the waist. He pulls the pants on, doing up the zip and fastening the belt at the waist, shirt tucked in. He looks in the mirror, not entirely loathing what he sees. The colour of the shirt suits his fair complexion, and the belt cinches him in at the waist, giving him the vaguest hint of an hourglass despite the straight line that is usually his torso. The tight pants cling to him, accentuating his bum. He pulls on the fabric of the pants, wishing they were not so tight and clingy to his muscular legs, feeling self conscious of the way his thighs rub together.

“Are you nearly finished in there, chickadee?” Betty’s voice calls out to him from outside the changeroom.

“U-h, nearly Mrs Ch- uhh, Betty.” Tweek quickly throwing on the white waist apron. He gathers up his discarded clothes and the skates and exits the room. When he exits back out into the locker room, Betty is no longer alone.

“Tweek, Sugarplum. I would like to introduce you to Craig. He’s going to be showing you the ropes today.”

Tweek looks over to the lanky man standing to her left. His dark blue eyes lined in black gave the blonde a once over. His eyes were flat and settled in a look of apathetic indifference. 

“N-nice to meet you Craig.” The lingering nerves had Tweek’s verbal tics acting up again.

Craig doesn't say anything. Just nods his head once before pulling at a string on the hem of his apron.

Betty just rolls her eyes at the raven haired boy. “Don’t mind him pumpkin, he’s like that with everyone. Now, have you ever roller skated before?”

Tweek bites his lip. “U-uh.. y-yeah… a little bit.” 

Craig clicks his tongue irately and shakes his head. “This is going to be a fucking nightmare,” he grumbled.

“Craig!” Betty scolds. 

“What? Nobody said anything about having to teach him how to skate as well!” Craig says, indignant. 

“I don’t give a rats ass what your reasoning is, Craig. That is not how we treat new staff members! Go out the front and start a fresh pot of coffee. I’ll come talk to you in a minute.”

Craig at least has the decency to look a bit guilty as he exits the staff room. Betty turns back to Tweek, giving him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry about him darling, but I promise ya, he’s all bark but no bite.”

Tweek isn’t so sure about that. He sure as hell looked like he could pack a bite. Craig’s body was tall and gangly but obviously strong, if the lean muscles poking out of the hem of his sleeves were anything to judge by. His mildly annoyed but thoroughly indifferent expression with those piercing blue eyes are intimidating enough to set most people on edge. From the neck down, though, Craig was dressed the same as Tweek; clad in baby pink and the same tight lycra pants highlighting how long his legs were, which took some of the intimidation factor out of it. The soft, somewhat femboy attire is quite a contradiction to his mean expression. Tweek wonders about how he gets on with the customer’s with his attitude.

“It’s okay. I actually have a lot of experience on roller skates. It’s how I used to make all our deliveries at my parents coffee shop… I-I don’t know why I said a little bit, I guess I'm just- ngh- nervous…” Tweek looks dejectedly at the floor, feeling bad. 

“That’s okay, pumpkin,” Betty comes up and wraps her arm around his shoulders, “First day’s are always intimidating. Now,” she gives him a little squeeze before removing her arm and patting him on the back, “Lace up your skates and meet me out the front. While you do that, I’m going to talk to a man about a horse.” Betty’s face settles into a light scowl that looks abnormal on her soft face before disappearing back out to the front of house.

While Tweek laces up his brand new skates, he hears Betty’s slightly muffled voice. It sounds like she’s scolding someone—presumably Craig. Tweek feels a little bit bad. He kind of feels like it’s his fault, even though he didn’t make Craig react the way he did. He also didn’t want to start off on a bad foot with his colleague, so now it’s just an added stressor to his list. He really doesn’t want to make himself a target. 

He sighs to himself. It’s going to be a long day.

Tweek practices his skating skills to stall while waiting for Betty’s lecture to simmer down. He’s happy to learn that he hasn’t lost it. He can still skate normally and do all the same tricks like spinning and skating backwards. Hopefully Craig will be happy to see that he actually can skate and he’s not a complete newbie.

Once he can no longer hear angry voices through the door, Tweek pushes on his skates and rolls his way out to the front. Betty turns around to him, a bright smile on her face and not a trace of anger remaining. The only hint at anything being wrong would be the mildly indignant but guilty frown Craig was showing, while he avoided eye contact with the blonde.

“Tweek! Ready to get started?” Betty asks him brightly. Tweek nods, rolling forward towards the two. “Perfect! Well I'll leave you here with Craig, who’s going to show you the ropes while it's quiet. I’ll be back out ‘round the lunch rush to see how y'all are doing, okay? Come get me if you need me, sugarplum.” Betty stops at Craig’s side on her way back to the office. “Remember what I said, Craig.” she gives him a pointed look. “Play nice or I’ll have your ass out on that curb faster than a cat on a mouse.” With that, she waddles off and shuts herself into the office.

Tweek stands there balanced on the rubbers of his skates, unsure what to do. Both him and Craig are avoiding looking at each other, tension thick between them. Pip is all the way over the other side of the restaurant, refilling a customer’s coffee, so Tweek can’t direct his attention at anyone else, either.

“Sorry about before.” Tweek’s head shoots towards Craig in surprise, the sound of his nasally voice apologising completely catching him off guard. “I was acting like a dick.”

“...Ngh, it’s o-okay.” Tweek stutters out, “I don’t know why I said a little. I-I actually can skate, so I guess I'm sorry too… for like stressing you out and stuff. You won’t have to teach me to skate.” Tweek is internally kicking himself, pissed off that his verbal tics are acting up in front of his new colleague. They only come back when he is really anxious, which is a catch 22 as the tics make him more anxious which then in turn causes more tics. It is a lose-lose cycle.

“Yeah, Betty said when she was handing my ass to me that you knew how to skate. She also said you were nervous because it’s your first day.” Craig scratches the back of his neck, looking like he would like to be anywhere else rather than the current conversation. “SorryifImadeitworseorwhatever” he says, so rushed and garbled that it takes a moment for Tweek to decipher what he said.

“It’s fine man, don’t sweat it. Can we just start fresh?” Tweek says. He rolls over to where Craig is standing. “I’m Tweek, I’m 18 years old but I’m turning 19 in a couple of weeks, and I took this job because my dads a psychopath and working for him made me want to smother him in his sleep.” Tweek thrust his hand out at his new companion.

Craig eyes his hand suspiciously before taking his hand in his own and shaking it slowly. “I’m Craig Tucker, I’m 19, and I got this job because I really like smoking weed and playing video games but neither come free.”

“Nice to meet you.” Tweek says with a wide smile, dimples on full display. Craig smiles back, which feels like a win for Tweek. After a long moment, they both yank their hands back awkwardly after realising they’re still connected. “Uhh… shall we get started?” Tweek asks.

“Yeah, sure, we’ll start with the basics then…”

The first day is mostly Craig showing Tweek how to refill the various dispensers, learn the sections, and work the register. When Tweek gets home, his calves are aching and he has a headache from all the information, but he can't stop smiling. He really likes his new job and Betty is a million fucking times better to work for than his dad. He goes to bed excited to go to work the next day for the first time ever

At his second shift, Craig wasn’t working, so instead Tweek was paired with Pip. He spent a long time explaining to Tweek all the diner lingo that the fry chefs used. Pip explained that they were sadistic bastards who refused to start cooking your order until you used the lingo, so it was important that he knew. He learnt that a  _ pig sitting _ is what you ask for if you want ham but you better not mix it up with a  _ pig lying  _ which is for bacon. French fries are called  _ frog sticks,  _ and if someone wants salad in their hamburger, you’ve got to ask the cooks to  _ walk the cow through the garden _ , along with a dozen other things. Tweek’s head was spinning by the end of the day. Luckily, Pip gave him his number and was happy to text with him back and forth that night, answering his questions while Tweek wrote down all the lingo in his Moleskine notebook, making an effort to retain it.

Tweek had a pep in his step as he strolled through the front door on the third day. He had woken up to an empty house, which always put him in a good mood. It meant he could get ready in peace and not have to listen to any of his dad’s bullshit rambling analogies that made no sense and went nowhere, or be roped into a guilt trip about how his parents now have to pay someone to come work for them instead of the free labour that Tweek sued to provide. Craig was again his shift buddy, and he must have also been in a good mood because he gave him a half-smile when Tweek said good morning to him.

He was also a lot more chatty than usual.

~~~

“See that guy over there?” Craig whispers at him, gesturing to a man with black hair and a thick moustache rambling on loudly in the corner. “That’s Randy. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but he’s been pouring booze from his flask into his coffee. He’ll then go home later and key up his wife’s car, pass out, forget about it in the morning and then threaten to find the person who did it. He’s an idiot.” 

Tweek giggles, partly at the description but also at the fact that he didn’t think Craig would be such a gossip.

~~~

“Holy shit, is that ex-president Herbert Garrison?!”

“The one and only. He was actually Mrs Garrison at one point. Used to be my teacher as well.”

“No fucking way! What could THAT guy teach you?”

“Pretty much the only thing he taught me was that he made one ugly fucking woman.”

Craig looks more than a little bit smug when he makes Tweek laugh so hard he snorts.

~~~

“This coffee is COLD!”

Craig looks at Tweek pointedly before rolling his eyes at the petulant customer sitting down the other end of the breakfast bar. When he turns back towards the complaining man, he says, “Why don’t you shove it up your ass, Damien? That should warm it up.”

Tweek’s jaw drops at the blatant disregard for customer service. Damien’s eyes flashed red and narrowed dangerously, drawing a yelp out of the small blonde. 

Out of nowhere, Pip comes skating over, planting himself between Damien and Craig, a charming smile settled on his pretty face. “I’m so sorry Damien, do you want a fresh cup?”

At the british man's sudden appearance, Damien’s pale cheeks change to an alarming shade of red. “No, no, that’s fine. I don’t want to be any trouble.” Damien raises his left hand palm up, using his right hand to hold the porcelain mug over his palm. Tweek can’t contain his second yelp of surprise when flames start coming out of his left hand, effectively turning the cold cup of coffee into a steaming one.

Later in the break room, Tweek finally gets the chance to ask Craig, “What the fuck was that?” 

“That's the son of Satan,” Craig replies, voice flat as usual, eating his pasta salad, eyes fixated on his phone.

Tweek takes a sip of his 5th cup of coffee for the day. “Ha ha, very funny Craig.” Tweek takes a page out of Craig’s book, rolling his eyes.

Finally, Craig looks up from his phone, looking Tweek dead in the eyes. Tweek would be a liar if he said that cool blue stare wasn’t making him more than a little flustered. “No, seriously. That’s Damien Thorn. He’s Satan’s son. Satan sent him here to find Jesus so that they could verse each other in a boxing match or some shit. I’m not sure why he even comes back here when he’s supposed to be in Hell, but I’m pretty sure it’s because he’s got a soft spot for Pip.”

Tweek just stares at Craig, trying to figure out if he’s fucking with him or not. After a good 15 seconds with Craig not saying he’s joking, Tweek just says, “You’re joking, right?”

“No?” Craig says, sounding a bit annoyed that Tweek would doubt his honesty, “Didn’t you say you grew up here? How do you not know this?”

Tweek looks deeply troubled, taking another sip of his coffee. “I guess you miss a lot when you spend all your time in the backroom of a coffee shop.” 

~~~

Tweek was enjoying the way Craig was slowly getting more comfortable around him. He was hoping that they were on the road to becoming friends, maybe one day soon.

Tweek doesn’t have a lot of friends. Mostly because his dad used to work him to death leaving no time to make any. Tweek spent more time inside the four walls of the Tweek Bro’s storeroom then he ever did at school. Actually, he spent no time at school. His parents  _ attempted _ to homeschool him which was just an excuse to teach him nothing while he worked for free, but then DCP came knocking and told them if they didn't get Tweek enrolled in some sort of schooling, then they were going to take him away. Apparently the threat of losing free child labour was enough to have them enroll Tweek into online homeschooling. They didn’t let that disrupt his work schedule though, expecting him to study while still working. Tweek was still a bit pissed off at the DCP workers who cared enough about him not getting schooled to intervene, but not about him working 16 hours shifts at 7 years old. 

“Tweek?” The blonde jumps, Craig’s voice throwing him out of his thoughts. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Tweek laughs. “It’s all good man, I’m just naturally jumpy.”

Craig smirks, nodding in agreement. “This shit probably doesn’t help then.” Craig thrusts a steaming hot mug of black coffee into his hands. 

Tweek takes the mug gratefully, immediately taking a sip despite the scalding hot temperature. Craig winces, his natural motor response. “Probably not.” Tweek says once he’s swallowed a mouthful. “Thank you for this.”

Craig shoves his hands into the pocket of his apron, looking out the front window of the diner. “S’no problem. I know you like it, so...” Craig trails off.

“That is true.” Tweek turns and looks out the window also, enjoying the quiet moment, not feeling his usual urge to fill the dead air with mindless rambling. The silence with Craig is comfortable. More comfortable than it is with most people. Tweek realises with a start that  _ HE _ is more comfortable with Craig than most people. A fact that shocks him due to his previously limited human interactions and natural untrusting nature. 

The realisation has a slow content smile spreading across the blondes face. Tweek _ really _ hopes they’re becoming friends. 


	2. Friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, a big thank you to jewboykahl for editing this. you're literally my rock. ILYSM.
> 
> Also, I'm realising that Craig in this story is pretty OOC but I've decided that I don't really care hahaha. I hope you still like him because I do!
> 
> Enjoy :)

“TWEEK! Dude, I didn’t know that  _ THIS _ was your new job?!”

On Tweek’s fifth shift, he’s surprised to walk in and find the one and only Kenny McCormick, on skates and wearing the poodle skirt version of the diner’s uniform. Their long, dirty-blonde hair is braided into pigtails and they are wearing bright pink lipstick.

“Kenny! Holy shit! This is the best surprise!” Kenny skates up and snatches Tweek up into a bear hug, swinging them both around in circles. “ARGH! PUT ME DOWN”

Kenny laughs, but doesn’t put him down. “What if I don’t want to? It’s not often I get to hold a strapping young man in my arms.” Despite what they said, they returned the small blonde to the ground anyway. “Also, it’s Princess Kenny today.” They grab the hem of their poodle skirt and curtsy regally.

Tweek takes off his imaginary hat and bows. “Please forgive me, m’lady.” 

“Your transgression could be forgiven with a kiss.” They hold out their hand, expectantly.

Tweek rolls his eyes but smiles anyway. He grabs their hand, noting the purple sparkly nail polish, planting a kiss on the back of their hand. Kenny brings their other hand to their face, giggling like an anime school girl. 

“What the fuck are you guys doing?” Craig’s monotone voice makes them both jump.

“LANGUAGE!” Betty’s voice resonates from the closed office door. Luckily, there are only 2 customer’s sitting in a booth, too wrapped up in each other to catch Craig's faux pas. 

Kenny laughs before slinging an arm around Tweek’s shoulders. “Tweek, have you met Craig yet?”

Tweek went to open his mouth to speak but Craig beat him to it. “Yeah, we’ve met. How do you two know each other?” 

“Me and Tweeky here go  _ waaaaaay _ back.” Kenny grins down at Tweek, who grins back. They really did go way back. Kenny’s parents made the meth that Tweek’s parents sold. When Kenny’s parents would call Tweek’s and tell them their order was ready, they would send Tweek to SoDoSoPa, where Kenny lived, to pick it up which is where Kenny and Tweek’s friendship blossomed; in the front yard outside of a meth lab in Kenny’s garage. It’s actually pretty fucked up when you think about it, which is why Kenny and Tweek just say they go way back. It’s not a lie, it’s just not the hard-to-swallow truth.

“Hm, okay. That really clears it up” Craig rolls his eyes as he turns around and stalks off (as much as you can in skates), going to go refill the ketchup bottles. Kenny just looks at Tweek and shrugs, as if to say  _ ‘what's up with him?’.  _ Tweek shrugs back as if to say  _ ‘I was hoping you would tell me?” _

Kenny and Tweek spend a good chunk of the shift talking. It has been months since they last saw each other, just due to being busy, so they have a lot to catch up on. While they talk, Kenny keeps grabbing Tweek’s hand or brushing Tweek’s messy curls out of his eyes. Kenny was always more touchy feely than most people, but especially when they were Princess Kenny. They told Tweek once that they felt more comfortable being affectionate while being Princess Kenny as it felt more natural to their feminine side. Tweek didn’t mind though. As a child of parent’s who barely acknowledged his existence outside of their coffee shop, let alone hug him, he was always a bit touch starved and relished in human contact. 

Tweek also spent the majority of his time talking to Kenny because It’s not like he could talk to Craig, who was stomping around in a foul mood. He hadn’t said a word to either of them since he asked them how they knew each other. Tweek was a bit troubled by this. He thought that he and Craig were becoming something that resembled friends, so to now be ignored by him was making Tweek’s anxiety flare up.

Once Kenny’s shift ended, and they headed out the door with a promise to catch up with Tweek outside of work, Tweek was left alone with Craig who still wasn’t saying anything. Tweek rolled around, looking for stuff to do but coming up blank; all the shakers were already filled and the dispensers were bursting with napkins. He settles back by the coffee pot, his usual spot, draining what's left in his mug with a sigh. He’s pretty bummed out that Craig doesn’t want to talk to him. His chats with the raven-haired boy had started to become the highlight of his shifts.

_ Fuck this _

“Got any plans for the weekend, Craig?” Tweek asks, hoping that Craig will throw him a bone and give him something to work with, _something_ to get the conversation flowing. 

“Nope.” Craig pops his ‘P’. 

Tweek watches Craig, and waits to see if he will add anything else. When Craig picks up a cloth and starts wiping down the tables, Tweek realises that he’s not going to get anything else out of him.

“Cool, sounds like fun,” he says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “I’m going to the bathroom, watch my section.”

Tweek rolls off towards the restrooms. He shuts himself into a stall because trying to pee into a urinal while wearing skates and having lycra pants pushed to your knees was an impossible task. He stalls, not wanting to go back out to the front and suffer through anymore of Craig's stoney silences. He takes his sweet time washing his hands and leaning against the sink, fucking around on his phone before going back out the front. 

Craig’s pouring out a cup of freshly made coffee when Tweek arrives back behind the counter. He puts the pot back on the warmer and turns towards Tweek. 

“Look, Tweek... I’m sorry for being a dick.” he holds out the steaming mug towards the blonde, an apologetic look on his usually stoic face. 

Tweek looks at the mug, but without taking it. He looks back into Craig’s eyes. “Why?”

Craig looks surprised, both at Tweek not taking the coffee and also at his question. “Why what?”

“Why were you being a dick?” Tweek crosses his arms, eyebrow raised in question.

Craig puts the mug down next to him. He rubs the back of his neck, looking guilty. “Uh… I don’t know. I’m just kind of an asshole, I guess... that’s what all my friends say. I mean, they’re not wrong I suppose. It’s only my fourth time working with you and this is already my second time apologising for being a dick, so they’re probably right.” 

Craig didn’t really answer Tweek’s question, but he looks sincere enough so Tweek chooses to just let it go. He doesn’t want to jeopardise their budding friendship by being too much of a hard ass. Tweek moves closer to Craig, and picks up the mug resting on the bar beside him. “Apology accepted, Craig,” Tweek says, smiling up at the taller boy while taking a sip of his coffee, “just don’t do it again if you can help it.”

Craig does a half smile back. “I’ll try my best, and if I fail, you have my permission to call me a dick.”

Tweek laughs. “Did you think I needed your permission?” he asks, smirking.

After that, they go back to normal, chatting and joking throughout the shift. It’s the end of the night, after the door’s been locked, as they’re doing their closing tasks that Craig asks Tweek a question. They are both walking around in their socks, skates ditched after the customer’s left. Craig’s putting the chairs up on the tables and Tweek’s counting the register. The radio is softly playing Fleetwood Mac in the background. The radio is always the last thing you turn off, before hitting the lights and locking the door.

“So… are, like, you and Kenny…?” Craig trails off.

Tweek places the quarter’s back into the cash draw. He looks up at Craig, who’s still robotically placing chairs up on the tables, and picking up stray napkins from the floor. “Are we….?” Tweek pushes Craig to continue.

“You know… like, dating or whatever?” Craig's face is turned in the opposite direction, so Tweek can’t read his expression to see if it’s a joke or not.

“Me and Kenny? God no!” Tweek laughs loudly. “No, we’re just friends.”   
  


Craig turns around at that point, looking at Tweek as if he had two heads. “But they were all over you earlier? Touching your hair and holding your hand… I think they have a crush on you, Tweek.”

Tweek snickers. “They definitely do not have a crush on me. That’s just what Kenny’s like. Are they not like that with you?” Tweek asks, genuinely curious.

Craig scoffs. “No, they know I’d deck them if they tried.” 

Tweek laughs again, turning back to the register to finish counting the money. Craig stacks the last check and picks up the broom, starting to sweep the floor. A few moments of silence pass before Craig starts talking again.

“So if you guys are just friends, why do you let them touch you like that?” Craig has stopped sweeping, instead folding his hands over the top of the broom before resting his chin on top. His eyes watch Tweek, waiting for his answer. Tweek just cocks an eyebrow at Craig.

“Do I have to be romantically interested in someone to let them hold my hand?” Tweek states. It’s a rhetorical question. He knows damn well that he doesn’t need to justify how he acts with his friend.

Craig starts to back pedal. “That’s not what I meant! I just meant that it’s very… intimate…” Craig seems to recoil slightly at the word choice despite it coming from his mouth, “and not something I guess you would normally do with someone who’s… uh… just a friend, I guess…”

Tweek hums, considering what Craig has said. He tries to find a way to explain it to Craig that’s a bit more in depth than just  _ they like to hug and I like to be hugged. _

“Symbiosis.”

Craig’s brows furrow together in confusion. “What does that mean?”

“Like the oxpecker and the hippo. The oxpecker lives on the hippos' back and eats all the bugs off of the hippo, and the hippo protects the oxpecker while also getting to stay parasite free. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship.”

Craig stares at Tweek like he just announced that he’s growing a second head. “So… you’re the oxpecker?”

“Or the hippo” Tweek shrugs. “It doesn’t really matter though, that’s not the point. The point is that Kenny likes to touch and hug and hold, and I like to be touched and hugged and held. It's symbiotic; it benefits both of us.”

Craig nods slowly, letting the information absorb. Tweek watches Craig for a moment to see if he is going to continue with his line of questioning. After half a minute of silence, Tweek senses Craig is done and once again, tries to count the register. Just as he is counting the last handful of quarters, Craig interrupts him  _ again. _

“So-”

“Craig!” Tweek snaps, glaring at him, “Can you please, for the love of god, let me finish counting this before asking me whatever it is you're about to ask me.”

Craig immediately shuts his mouth, nodding sheepishly. Tweek counts the last of the quarter’s, writing down the total on the float book. Tweek then looks up, giving Craig an exasperated look. “Yes, Craig?”

Craig is sweeping, eyes trained to the ground. Tweek feels a little bit guilty for yelling at Craig, but sometimes he just loses his cool. He’ll apologise once Craig has asked him his question.

“So, do you… uh… I guess, only like  _ Kenny _ touching you that way? Or are you cool with anyone being like that… with you...?” The light from the neon ‘Betty’ sign outside lights Craig’s face in a soft pink hue, giving the illusion that Craig's cheeks are hot and flushed. 

Tweek smiles a sad smile. “Well, I guess anyone, not that I would really know though. Kenny’s really my only friend and the only person who acts that way with me... When you have parents like mine who starved you of affection, limited your interactions with others and kept you locked in a storeroom for 16 hours a day so that you could be free child labour for them, I guess you tend to take whatever closeness you can get, wherever you can get it.” Tweek laughs humourlessly. 

Craig looks a bit horrified. Tweek sometimes forgets how fucked up his childhood is until he sees that expression on a person's face. He really should learn to filter himself better and stop exposing his trauma to people he barely knows. 

“I’m so sorry, Tweek.” Craig says sadly. 

“It’s fine,” Tweek shrugs, “I’ve come to terms with it.” Tweek's more worried that Craig’s going to think he’s completely unhinged. Shit, now he’s going to have to apologise for snapping at him earlier, and now also for offloading all this shit on to him.

“It’s not fine, Tweek. No one should have to deal with that” Craig says firmly. “I’m sorry your parents are such giant dickwads.”

Tweek smiles at Craig lopsidedly. “Ha, yeah. They are giant dickwads.”

Craig just smiles back at him before going back to sweeping.

This time, it’s Tweek who pipes up. “Hey Craig?”

Craig’s head shoots up, messy black hair falling in front of one of his cobalt eyes. “Yeah?”

“Thanks for not thinking I’m a certifiable freak for exposing all my dirty laundry to you after only knowing each other for 4 days…”

Craig chuckles. “Anytime, Tweek.”

“Also, sorry I snapped at you.”

“Don’t sweat it.”

They both go back to their tasks and quickly finish up their closing duties. 10 minutes later, they’re turning off the lights and locking the door.

“Alright, goodnight Craig.” Tweek goes to turn away, heading towards his corolla.

“Tweek, wait-” Craig grabs his wrist and pulls the smaller blonde towards him. Tweek tenses up for a second until he feels Craig’s lean arms wrap tightly around his waist, pulling him into a bear hug. Tweek relaxes, letting his arms fall around Craig’s neck hugging him back. They only stay like that for a second or two, before they’re pulling back and stepping away from each other.

Craig runs a hand through his shaggy black hair. “Uh, so… verdict?” Craig asks, smiling down at the blonde. Those same neon lights from before making it hard to tell if Craig is blushing or if it’s just a trick of the lights. 

Tweek nods his head a little, tiny smile on his lips. He knows now that it’s not just Kenny that he’s okay receiving affection from. “That was… acceptable.”

“Cool, well… I’m glad.” Craig removes his hand from his own hair, just to ruffle it through Tweek’s curls. “See you tomorrow, Shortstack.” With that, Craig turns on his heel and strides across to his Subaru Impreza. 

“Shortstack?!” Tweek yells after him, indignant.

Craig ignores his yelling, getting into his car and turning it on. 

Tweek turns towards his own car, fighting the grin that threatens to take over his face. He’s pretty sure this means him and Craig are friends now. I mean, people who aren’t friends don’t hug, or ruffle hair, or give each other nicknames, right?

Tweek loses his battle, smiling widely once in the safety of his car. It feels good to have a friend.

***

The next shift that they work together, Craig greets Tweek in the staff room by pulling him into another bone-crushing hug that Tweek gratefully melts into. Tweek chooses to ignore the way his whole body heats up with Craig in a way that it doesn’t do with Kenny.

***

Tweek forces a smile on his face as he hands the middle aged man back his change. “Have a nice day, and come again soon.”

“Oh, don’t you worry sweet cheeks, I will.” the balding man winks while dabbing at his sweaty brow with a handkerchief. 

Tweek rolls his eyes and fake gags as the fat man waddles away.

Tweek jumps out of his skin when a monotone voice says from behind him, “what was that about?”

“Jesus Craig, you scared the shit out of me!” he says, turning around and fixing Craig with a glare.

“Sorry” he says, looking entirely not sorry.

“S’fine.” Tweek says. “Just some old creep who was a bit handsy.”

Craig’s face forms into one of anger as his narrowed eyes follow the man as he gets into his car. He starts to move toward the door, but Tweek, realising what he’s about to do, intercepts him.

“Please don’t Craig, just leave it” Tweek pleads.

Craig does not want to leave it, but the man is already driving away. He sighs, placing his hand on Tweek’s shoulder. “Okay, but if it happens again, you have to let me or Betty know, okay?”

Tweek nods, and Craig squeezes his shoulder comfortingly before releasing him and skating away.

The skin on the blonde’s shoulder tingles like tiny pins and needles are kissing his freckled skin. Tweek hates the feel of polyester when it gets warm. The sensation is definitely because of the fabric. Nothing else.

***

“Here you go Tweek.” 

Craig hands him a cup of coffee. Tweek grabs the cup gratefully with two hands, cradling it in his palms. Just as Tweek is going to bring it up to his mouth, Craig wraps his hands over Tweek's keeping them in place.

“Be careful, it’s hot.” Craig brings his face closer, blowing on the coffee to cool it down.

Tweek stares at Craig's lips, entirely fixated on the crease in the middle of his bottom lip. When Craig pulls back, Tweek has to quickly avert his eyes so as not to be caught staring.

“Th-thanks.” Heat floods the blonde’s face. He turns away before Craig can see, but that doesn’t stop it from happening regardless. He hopes it's just the steam from his cup.

It has to be, surely…

But then why was he staring at Craig’s lips…

Tweek shakes his head. “Nope, not going there.”

“Did you say something?” Craig asks.

“No!”

***

It’s 9:00pm on a rainy Tuesday night, a couple of weeks after Tweek’s first day, when the diner is completely empty of customer’s for the first time since Tweek started. Betty went home earlier, stating that she hates driving in the rain and that she trusts the two boys to hold down the fort. Craig and Tweek pass the time by gliding up and down the length of the diner, showing off their various roller skating skills, Tweek’s proving to be much more extensive than Craig’s. Craig pretty much only knows how to spin in a circle. Tweek was skating forwards, backwards, doing circles, balancing on one leg, doing circles  _ WHILE  _ balancing on one leg. Craig had accepted defeat; Tweek was far superior on the wheels than he was. 

“I feel even worse about snapping on your first day now. You’re a natural.”

“Of course you’d think that. A baby giraffe would look like a natural compared to you” Tweek teases.

“Oh really? Is that so?” Craig tries to look grumpy, but the way the right side of his mouth is twitching gives him away.

“Well, duh! Look at your pins Craig! I’m surprised you can skate at all when your centre of gravity is a mile off the ground.”

“Are you sure that’s not just jealousy talking, Shortstack?” Craig gets off the stool at the bar and skates over to Tweek, looking down at him. The nickname stuck after that one time, and now Craig pretty much refuses to call Tweek anything but.

Tweek doesn't mind all that much though.

“I’m not that short Craig! I’m 5’9! It’s not my fault you’re some freak who grew to be 7 feet tall!” Tweek pushes at Craig’s chest playfully when the noirette is within reaching distance.

Craig’s right hand suddenly wraps around Tweek’s right wrist, yanking the shorter boy towards him until he’s almost flush with his chest. Tweek freezes, caught off guard by the sudden closeness. “I’m not 7 feet tall you ass. I’m only 6’3. See?” Craig uses his left hand to indicate the space between the top of Tweek’s head to the top of his. “I’m not over a foot taller than you! That would be insane.”

Tweek’s hearts beating a funny pattern in his chest. From this close, he can see the tiny flecks of gold in the blue of Craig’s eyes and the slight bump in Craig’s nose where it’s been broken. Tweek licks his lips, feeling suddenly parched. He’s thankful that Craig’s not looking at him, still gesturing at their height difference, feeling like he would melt into a puddle if he gets caught in that gaze this close. 

Craig’s hand comes down too far, hand brushing the top of his curls. Craig’s long tan finger’s tangle in the flaxen hair, fingertips grazing Tweek’s scalp causing a shiver to run through the blonde’s body. “Your hair’s really soft” Craig whispers. Tweek feels his bones turn to liquid, getting more worried about turning into that puddle with every second. 

Tweek removes his wrist from Craig’s grip, jerking backwards, desperate to create space. “Th-thanks, it's a coconut conditioner I stole from my mum.” 

Craig laughs. “Nice. Grand theft toiletries.”

Tweek laughs robotically, still not able to shake the edgy feeling from earlier. “Haha, yeah...”

Craig looks at him curiously but whatever question he was going to ask never comes. Instead he says, “do you think you could teach me how to skate backwards?”

Tweek exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Definitely.”


	3. Birthday Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thank you as always to jewboykahl for inspiring huge chunks of this chapter and always editing my horrendous typos and tense changes.
> 
> Also, this story was only going to be 4 chapters but I’ve fallen in love with it and can’t bear to end it so soon so now the length is undetermined. I’m sorry to confuse everyone.

It was Friday, August 17th. Tweek drags his feet into work, feeling more weighed down than usual.

He didn’t wake up expecting much, but walking into the kitchen to nothing but a note from his parents telling him that they had gone to Denver for the week was more disappointing than usual. They hadn’t so much as written down a return date, let alone scribbled a ‘Happy Birthday’ to him.

At least he could go into work and not have to spend his birthday completely alone in his house.

He goes through to the staff room to dump his belongings and get changed. After he is finished putting on his uniform, he comes out to find Craig with his head halfway in his locker, texting on his phone.

“Hey Shortstack, how are you?” Craig says without looking up.

Tweek just grumbles in reply.

“That bad?” Craig says, looking up.

“Pretty much.” Tweek is standing at his locker, placing his clothes away and collecting his skates. 

Skinny arms wrap around the tops of Tweek’s arms and chest from behind, pulling him back against his chest in a hug. Craig was even taller than usual in his skates, tall enough to rest his head on top of Tweek’s mess of blonde curls. “D’you wanna talk about it?”

Tweek rests his hand on top of the cross of Craig's arm’s on his chest. He shakes his head, not trusting his voice to work. Whether that was from the emotion tightening his chest, or the way Craig’s body feels against his back making his throat tighten, he wasn’t sure.

“Okay,” Craig continues, releasing the blonde from the circle of his arms. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

“Thanks.” Tweek says in a small voice, going to put on his skates.

The lunch rush is even busier than usual. Tweek is grateful for the influx of customers. Being run off his feet means he doesn’t have to think about his disappointing parents, how Craig’s touches have started to make his stomach flutter or how, once his shift is over, he’s going to be spending the rest of his birthday completely alone. All things that Tweek would rather not think about.

Tweek leans against the counter once the rush finally starts to simmer down. He feels weary, and not just physically. He must look destroyed judging by the way Craig keeps shooting him sidelong glances while standing at the register, ringing up the last of the orders. 

The bell above the door rings, making Tweek straighten up off the counter in anticipation of another customer. Tweek smiles when he sees that it’s Kenny, clad in a very pretty yellow sundress and carrying a gift bag. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWEEKERS!” Kenny yells, disturbing some of the customers. 

“Shhhhh! You’re being too loud!” Tweek scolds, but he doesn’t really mean it. He laughs as he skates around to the other side of the counter and into the arms of his friend. 

Kenny wraps the smaller blonde up in a bear hug. “I have no volume control, you know that.” 

“No shit, Sherlock.” Tweek buries his head into the chest of his friend, finding comfort in the closeness, clinging onto Kenny like he’s stranded out at sea, and the blonde was the only life preserver.

Kenny brings their mouth close to Tweek’s ear. “That bad?” they whisper.

“You have no idea.” he whispers back.

Kenny wraps their hands around Tweek’s biceps and holds him at arm's length. “Well we better change that then.” Kenny thrusts the gift bag at his chest. “Open this and all your dreams will come true!”

Tweek grabs the handles of the bag. “Well, I never! Is this for little ol’ me? My, you shouldn’t have!” Tweek says in an exaggerated southern belle accent. He opens up the bag, peering inside. His face lights up, hand digging eagerly into the bag and pulling out his present.

It was a rock about the size of Tweeks hand. Kenny had painted the rock in glittery rainbow paint representing the Pride flag and given it giant googly eyes and Tweek LOVED it.

“I know that you always wanted a pet but we both know that you would kill anything that required any level of attention, so I made you a pet rock! Do you love it?!”

“Yes! It’s perfect!” Tweek throws his arms, right hand still clutching his new inanimate pet, around his friends neck. “Thank you Ken!”

“Anytime sweetcheeks.”

Tweek disentangles himself from Kenny to once again admire his present. “What should I call him?”

“Something super gay, surely.”

Tweek hums in thought, looking it in it’s googly eyes when the idea strikes him. “How about Elton? I mean, who better to name my new gay rock after than the gay king of pop-slash-rock himself?”

“That’s perfect!” Kenny says, reaching for Tweek’s hand. “Now I really wish I could stay, but it’s visitation day and I need to go be with Karen.”

“No! No, I totally get it.” Tweek squeezes Kenny’s hand, “Go be with her. I’ll be fine. I’ve got Craig to keep me company anyway.” Tweek gestures over his shoulder to the tall boy who’s been secretly observing the entire exchange, while trying to look busy and uninterested.

“Poor you.” 

“I heard that!” Craig protests, indignantly.

“I meant for you to hear it, dingus!” Kenny hollers back. “Anyway, I’ll text you when I’m done. If it’s not too late, we can hang out, okay? Maybe do a little sleepover? We can watch your favourite shitty 80’s horror movies and you can paint my nails for me again!”

Tweek laughs. “Sounds great, Ken. I’ll talk to you later. You better get going.”

Kenny leaves with a flourish, and a yelled promise to see Tweek later. Tweek gathers up his present and the gift bag to take to his locker when Craig pipes up from behind him.

“So it’s your birthday today?”

Tweek turns to face him. “Unfortunately.”

“You didn’t tell me” 

Tweek shrugs noncommittal. “I don’t really tell anyone. It’s not like I really celebrate it anyway. I’ve never really had anyone to celebrate it with.”

Craig’s handsome face morphs into a frown but before he can say anything, Tweek disappears into the back room, not wanting to see his colleague pity him. He feels like all he does is drone on about how pathetically sad his life is to Craig. Surely by now, he must be entirely fed up with the blonde and his litany of issues. 

Tweek sighs, placing the gift bag into the locker space on top of his pile of crumpled clothes. He stalls in the staff room before heading back out to the main area, determined to be in a more cheerful mood and to stop acting like such a wet blanket around Craig. He hikes up his lycra leggings that had slowly started to creep down his thighs and fixes the scalloped collar of his blouse. He inhales deeply to the count of four through his nose, and exhales to the count of four through his mouth feeling the calm wash over him. He repeats the step 5 times before he realises with a panic that he’s probably left Craig way too long by himself and probably enraged his colleague with his lack of consideration. 

He slams his locker shut and pushes off towards the door. He throws his shoulder into the swinging door and skates quickly behind the counter, sputtering out a slew of apologies to Craig about taking so long.

“Shh, Tweek. It’s okay. No one came in anyway... Now,” Craig places a plate with a generous slice of black forest cake in front of him. It’s beautifully decorated with large swirls of chocolate ganache and fresh plump cherries. A single green candle, already lit, is sticking out the middle of the treat. “Make a wish. And don’t expect me to sing you happy birthday because it’s not fucking happening.”

A slow smile creeps across Tweek’s face. He doesn’t say it to Craig, but he can’t remember the last time he was given a cake on his birthday, let alone got to blow out candles. “Is this for me?”

“Nah, it’s for the other person’s birthday,” Craig says sarcastically, but there’s no venom behind it. 

Tweek punches Craig in the shoulder, laughing. “Shut up.”

Craig chuckles, rubbing his arm where Tweek hit him. “Well, as my mum always says; ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.”

“I thought there was no such thing as a stupid question?”

“Only stupid people say that. Now, shut up and blow out your candle before it’s a puddle of wax.”

Tweek laughs at Craig, before bending down and blowing out the candle. He inhales deeply through his nose before straightening up and smiling at Craig.

“Is it weird that I love the smell of extinguished candle smoke?”

“I want to say  _ yes, you weirdo _ , but I actually get what you’re talking about.” Craig produces a fork from behind his back and presents it to Tweek.

“Thanks.” Tweek immediately sticks the fork into the dense cake and spears himself a mouthful. He has a huge sweet tooth and loves anything with chocolate. His mouth salivates at the decadent treat. He places the forkful in his mouth and moans. The cake is delicious; rich from the chocolate and tart from the berries. It has the perfect ratio of cake to frosting for the blonde’s liking. He breaks off another mouthful and holds the fork out to Craig. “You have to try this. It’s so good!”

Craig stares at the fork warily. “I don’t really like sweet things.”

“Fine, more for me then.” Tweek redirects the fork towards his own mouth when one of Craig’s large tan hands grips his wrist.

“Wait a second, that wasn’t a no. Give it here.” Craig redirects Tweek’s hand holding the fork, placing the piece of cake in his mouth. Tweek stares at Craig’s mouth as he pulls the fork from between his lips, removing the last bits of chocolate icing. Craig chews slowly before licking a bit of frosting from the corner of his mouth. “You’re right, it’s really good.” Craig finally releases his grip on Tweek’s wrist, the skin tingling where he had held it.

Tweek draws his attention back to the plate on the counter before stabbing himself another bit. “Yeah, I know. That’s why I told you to try it,” he says smirking. He tries not to think of how Craig had his fork in his mouth only a moment earlier, not only because of the germs involved with sharing an eating utensil, but also because the idea of his mouth touching something that Craig’s also had touched makes his pulse quicken.

“So, you're hanging out with Kenny after work?” Craig asks, making it sound more like a statement than a question. 

“Maybe,” Tweek says in between chewing, “but they’ve got supervised visitation with their parents and little sister today, and it normally makes Karen pretty upset, so if she’s not in a good way, they will probably just stay with her and make sure she’s alright.”

“What will you do then?” Craig asks, leaning against the counter, an eyebrow raised in question.

“I’ll probably just hang out. Make some popcorn, watch some movies or whatever. It’s just another day.” Tweek shrugs nonchalantly. 

“By yourself?” 

Tweek places the last bit of cake into his mouth and nods.

Craig clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Well, do you want some company?”

Tweek nearly chokes on the last piece of cake, surprised by the offer. Once he finally gets the lump of cake down his throat, he sputters as surprised “What?!” at his amused colleague.

“Do. You. Want. Some. Company?” Craig says slowly, punctuating each word.

“You want to hang out? With me? Outside of work?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Craig asks, looking mildly offended. “Do you not want to?”

Tweek shakes his head. “No, no it’s nothing like that. I’m just surprised.” Tweeks not surprised that the one time someone other than Kenny actually wants to hang out with him, he completely blows it by acting like a spaz. “Of course I want to hang out. You think I’d rather be alone on my birthday?”

“Okay… so is that a yes then?”

“Yes that’s a yes!”

Craig’s mouth pulls up in one corner. “Cool. Wanna come back to my place then? I have a fresh stick that we can share, and the new Crash Bandicoot game. We can get high and play life for life, if you want?” Craig picks up his plate and shoves it into the busing tray with all the other dirty dishes. 

Tweek bites down on his lip, suppressing his grin. “Sounds like a plan.” Tweek starts pouring himself a fresh mug of coffee, craving the bitter hot liquid to wash away some of the sweetness still coating his tongue.

“Oh, and Tweek?”

“Yeah?”

“Happy Birthday.”

“Thanks Craig.”

***

**Tweek:** Hey K, can we take a raincheck on our sleepover tn?

**Kenny:** Yeah, sure. U got other plans?

**Tweek:** Craigs asked me to hang out

**Kenny:** I see how it is.

**Kenny:** Ditching me 2 hang with Mr Robot

**Kenny:** I’m not mad, just disappointed.

**Tweek:** :((((( plz don’t be mad

**Kenny:** I’m just fucking with you Tweekers! Im glad you and Craigory are becoming friends.

**Kenny:** Make sure he shares some of that gorila glue with you. It’s probably the best high ive ever had.

**Tweek:** Oh I will. Thnx Ken, I owe you one.

**Kenny:** Its cool, dw about it. you kno ily even when you ditch me

**Tweek:** ofc, and you know ily2 <3

**Kenny:** maybe Craig will give you a birthday kiss now that I can’t ;)

**Tweek:** OMFG FUCK OFF

***

Tweek sits cross legged on Craig’s bed, nursing a bowl of popcorn and watching Craig smash the buttons of his controller, making the orange bandicoot jump between platforms on the game. Craig was unsurprisingly pretty good at the game, whereas Tweek... wasn’t. He had given up on their plan to play life for life after only 15 minutes, insisting that Craig just play and Tweek watch. Craig finally agreed after the 4th time of him pressuring the blonde to give it another go, and Tweek had declared that he would shove the playstation controller up Craig’s ass if he asked one more time.

Tweek was fixated on the screen, when the door burst open with a mighty bang. The blonde jumped so hard that the bowl catapulted out of the nest of his crossed legs and cast a rain of popcorn down on the two boys. 

“Ohmygoshcraigimsosorry” he sputters out. 

“Whoops. Sorry.” Tweek’s wide eyes fixated on the figure standing in the doorway, which happened to be a teenage girl, roughly 14 years old. 

“What the fuck Tricia?! have you ever heard of fucking knocking?” Craig flipped her off with a stony glare.

The girl, Tricia, pushed her strawberry blonde ponytail over her shoulder. “Have you ever heard of the volume control? I’m trying to facetime Karen and all I can hear is your stupid fucking game.” Tricia holds up her phone, showing a smiling, and surprisingly familiar, girl's face on the screen.

“Hi Craig!” the tinny voice from the iPhone says, “and hi… Oh, is that Tweek?!”

“Hey Karen,” Tweek says brightly, waving from his spot on the bed. 

“How do you two know each other?” Tricia asks.

“Tweek is friends with Kenny!” Karen says, smiling brightly. 

“Is Ken there?” Tweek asks.

“Nah, they’ve just gone to go pick up Chinese for dinner… OH, I nearly forgot! Happy birthday Tweek!” 

Tweek chuckles, picking popcorn out of his hair. “Thank you.”

“It’s your birthday and you’re willingly spending it with my dumbass brother?” Tricia asks incredulously.

“Fuck off Trish!” Craig says, picking up a handful of popcorn from his lap and throwing it at his sister.

“Gladly.” She says, closing the door. A small _Bye Tweek, Bye Craig_ comes from the speakers of the iphone just before the door clicks shut.

After she leaves, Craig switches off the playstation and places the controller on his bedside table. “Sorry about her. She’s a pain in the ass.”

Tweek chuckles. “You know, I always wanted a sibling but now I’m not so sure.”

“You’re an only child then?”

“Yeah… my parents didn’t even want one child so two was definitely out of the question.” Craig suddenly looked very solemn and Tweek felt like an idiot. “Sorry,” Tweek says, averting his eyes.

“Why are you saying sorry?”

“Because I keep doing that…” Tweek picks at a thread on his sleeve.

“Doing what?”

“I dunno… talking about my fucked up life and making you uncomfortable…” Tweek worries at his bottom lip with his teeth. He wonders which of his mental disorders he can blame his lack of filter and social awareness on.

“Tweek, I’m not uncomfortable,” Craig says firmly, drawing Tweek’s eyes up to his own. “You can talk to me about this stuff. I know I’m not a great conversationalist, but I’m a pretty good listener and I don’t shock easily.” The right side of his mouth pulls up into a lopsided smile. Tweek can’t help but smile back as his heart does a little flip-flop in his chest.

“Thank you Craig.”

“Anytime.” Craig runs his hand through his dark locks, dislodging a piece of popcorn. He looks at the piece of popcorn that landed on his shirt, before picking it up and throwing it high into the air and catching it in his mouth.

Tweek was impressed. He has terrible coordination and would probably take out his eye if he tried to catch a piece of popcorn in his mouth. Tweek scooches his butt down to the other end of the bed, facing Craig. “Could you catch a piece if I threw it from here?”

“Definitely,” Craig scoffs.

Tweek throws a piece hard and fast, hitting Craig just above his left eyebrow. “Boooo, you suck!” Tweek says, laughing at Craig’s shocked expression.

“Unfair, that was way too fast and I wasn’t ready! Do it again, but slower this time!” 

Tweek holds up a piece of popcorn. “You ready now princess?” 

“Shut up and throw the popcorn, Shortstack.” 

Tweek hurls the piece of popcorn at Craig who effortlessly catches it in his mouth. They both cheer loudly causing Tricia to thump on the wall and yell  _ SHUT UP  _ from the other side, making them laugh even louder than their cheering.

Once their chuckles die down, Craig cocks an eyebrow at the blonde. “Wanna smoke a bowl and watch The Mandalorian?”

“Hell yeah I do.” 

***

Half an hour later, Tweek and Craig are sufficiently stoned and cooing at the adorable way baby yoda does anything.

“I can’t believe that people got mad at baby yoda for eating the eggs. He’s a baby for fucks sake!” Tweek says passionately.

“I know, right! Did you know people were calling it a genocide?”

“What the actual fuck?  _ Seriously?!  _ They shouldn’t be mad at bubba yodes, they should be mad at Mando for not feeding the poor kid.”

Craig laughs loudly. “Did you just call him bubba yodes?” 

“Yeah I did.” Tweek says chuckling. “Got a problem with that?” He nudges Craig in the side.

“No, I think it’s fucking cute.” Craig nudges Tweek back, but apparently he loses all motor control when he’s high because he elbows Tweek so hard in the ribs that it knocks the wind out of him.

“Oof!” 

“Holy shit! Tweek! !’m so sorry!” Tweek isn’t sure how genuine his apology is though as he can barely make out the words between Craig’s laughter.

“Don’t laugh you dick!” Tweek wheezes out, but he can’t help but laugh as well despite the dull throbbing in his side. 

Craig throws himself sideways on the bed, wrapping his arms around Tweek’s waist and smooshing his head into Tweek’s stomach. “I am soooooooo sorry Tweek,” comes Craig’s muffled, but amused, voice from the blonde’s midsection.

Tweek pats Craig's head awkwardly. “It’s okay man.”

Craig rolls his body onto his side to face theTV, head resting on Tweek’s pillowy thighs. “Mmm that feels nice.”

“What? Me patting your head?” Tweek asks.

“Mmmm…” 

Tweek starts to scratch Craig’s scalp through his thick black hair with his nails, drawing a contented hum from the noirette. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re completely different when you’re high?”

“I can’t remember...” 

Tweek laughs, removing his hand from the dark locks. Craig yawns. “Are you getting tired?” 

“No...” Another extended yawn. “Keep scratching my head.”

“You’re so demanding.” Tweek resumes his scratching. “Are you going to fall asleep?”

“No...” 

Barely half a minute later, Tweek hears a light snore. He smiles. Craig is apparently like a slightly clumsy and massively clingy koala when he’s high, and Tweek can’t say he hates it. He admires how thick and shiny Craig’s hair is and how long and dark his eyelashes resting against his tan cheeks are. 

Tweek’s hand moves without his permission, the back of Tweek’s fingers lightly grazing Craig’s tan cheek, before going to brush his thumb over Craig’s full bottom lip.

Tweek snatches his hand back before he can, horrified at what he was doing to his friend without him knowing. “What the fuck am I doing?” he says in a whisper. His breath quickens, verging on the edge of panic. 

He shakes Craig's shoulder, rousing him from his sleep. “Hey Craig, wake up!.”

“Hm? What’s going on?” Craig sits up, eyes blinking sleepily.

“I’ve got to go, it’s getting late.” The second Craig’s weight is off Tweek’s lap, he catapults off the bed, grabbing his bag and heading towards the door. He can’t look him in the face. Surely Craig will see the bright scarlet of his cheeks and just  _ know _ what Tweek did “Thank you so much for today Craig, I really appreciate it. I had a lot of fun.” 

“Okay, well give me a sec. I’ll walk you down.” Craig says, getting up.

“No, no it’s fine. You stay here.” Tweek’s already out in the hall, slowly shutting the door behind him. “I’ll see you tomorrow! Goodnight.”

The second the door shuts, Tweek rushes down the stairs and out the door. He’s half way down the icy path towards his car when he hears the sound of a window being opened.

“Hey Tweek!”

Tweek spins around. His heart beats a funny rhythm when Craig’s bed head sticks out the window, highlighted by the faint glow of the lamp light behind him. “Yeah?” Tweek hopes that Craig can't hear the wobbly tone of his voice from that distance.

“Happy Birthday.” Craig smiles a wide bright smile and that’s it for Tweek’s poor gay heart. He can’t deny it any longer. He likes Craig... Like  _ likes _ Craig.

“Thanks!” Tweek says with a crack in his voice, throwing his hand up in the air in the most pathetic attempt at a wave. Why must he be like this? He’s so fucking awkward, holy shit.

He spins on his heel, nearly slipping on the ice but catching his footing at the last minute.

“Are you okay?”

“Yep!” Tweek throws himself into his car, starting the engine and driving away. His hands are damp where he grips the wheel too tightly. 

Why must he do this? He finally starts to get a friend, and Tweek develops  _ feelings  _ like a complete  _ moron. _

And Craig's probably straight! Or if he is gay, then he would never be interested in someone like Tweek. And he is  _ definitely _ going to want nothing to do with him if he even gets an  _ inkling  _ of where Tweek’s head is at.

Tweek stops at a stop sign. There are no cars coming, but Tweek still chooses to spend his time groaning and banging his head against the steering wheel. It’s not like he needs the brain cells anyway. Maybe if he bangs his head hard enough, he’ll damage his cerebral cortex and completely forget about his feelings for Craig. Maybe he’ll completely forget who he is entirely. That would be nice.

Unfortunately for Tweek, when he lifts his head up, he is still completely aware of who he is and how Craig’s stupid face makes his pulse quicken.

_ God fucking damn it. _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t get high and drive guys. It’s naughty.  
> oh shit wait, I should probably say don’t do drugs altogether or whatever??  
> they’re bad mmmkay


End file.
